Four needy orphans that came home with me from the Antique Mall this weekend-- click to enlarge so you can see them in ludicrous detail:
This album SEEMS like a lot of fun-- as evidenced by the FUN AT HOME! tag near the bottom left corner-- but just wait until you throw it on the turntable during your next "Burlesque At Home" party and Inappropriately Nude Hippie Guy inexplicably materializes. Selective use, indeed...
I have yet to play this album myself, but I'm a sucker for raunchy theme albums so I'm sure it won't disappoint. Plus, how can you go wrong with song titles like "C CUP BLUES" and "GIRDLES AWAY"?
The cover of this one needs no explanation-- or does it? At first, it seems to be just another innocent (yet perversely hilarious) instructional guide for BALL HANDLING. But what's this we see at the bottom? An sinister excess of PYNCHONIAN SYMBOLISM.
This album is AWESOME, as home belly dance instruction records often are. I love how the cover states RECORDED LIVE, but doesn't actually say WHERE. Judging by the GIANT HAIR on display in these pictures, it was recorded live in my personal fantasy space. I open the floor to discourse.
The pictures on the back are priceless. I want to take all of these ladies out to the bar for drinks with my family-- ESPECIALLY the dancer in the top right corner. I love how she just doesn't even care about pretense: "Allegra. Shalimar. Nadira. DOLORES." She almost looks like she's saying, through gritted teeth, "Can we get these pictures over with already? These goddamn beads are cramping my style, and I got a bottle of J&B waiting back at the trailer."
It's no secret that Curvacia and I melt for SPICY CUBAN RHYTHMS, HOPPED UP DRAG QUEENS, and SHAG CARPET LIFESTYLES. Here's an album covers that caters to all of those needs. And the music is HOT! As in, rum in your belly and chili peppers in your stool HOT. I could listen to this record every day for the rest of my life, and who knows? I might just do that. Bless you, Mary Cintra, for ending my music-buying year on such a spectacular note.
BONUS: Here's a recent video interview with Mary Cintra that both cracks me up and breaks my heart. We should all have this much class. I wish she lived nearby so we cold hang out and listen to her tell stories all day long.