Tuesday, June 29, 2010

My Life Is Indebted To Songs

I've been on a real soapbox in my personal life lately, bitching about everything from the unchecked police power at the G20 summit in Toronto (which has yielded both predictable and infuriating results) to Halliburton's ties to the gulf oil spill and BP's subsequent immolation of endangered sea turtles to the new youth mentoring program that Blackwater has set up in Afghanistan to the homophobic, religiously deranged aristocrat who will probably be our state's next governor and his racist, homophobic (and did I mention racist?) best pal who will be our next AG. Why should I ever smile again?

Because of this, perhaps?

Yes, CERTAINLY because of that.

Sorry to be such a Gloomy Gus. I'll be back soon with some really sweet Harlequin Romance cover scans, HONEST.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Return of Wolf Girl

As if last year's HAUNTED HOUSE FULL OF DEAD COPS wasn't proof enough, I think these pictures provide clear evidence that this child carries my DNA.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

La Resistencia es InĂștil!

Went to see THIS last night:

And caught a brief glimpse of THIS GUY on a TV set within the movie:

Which led me to decide that I should share THIS with you:

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

50 Cents and a Smile

First up: THE SPOOK LIGHTS were nominated for BEST GARAGE BAND in the 2010 Pitch Music Awards... Which is great, and could potentially be greater as soon as I figure out where to send people to vote. Details as they emerge...

Next: A couple of awesome grabs from the 50-cent bin at the new Salvation Army thrift here in town:

As with 77 SUNSET STRIP, I was unaware that GIDGET started life as a series of books. The non-Sally Field-esque model on the cover throws my mind for a loop. What kind of Bizarro-world GIDGET does this novel detail?

"I took one more look at the holocaust before I settled down and started the motor. Okay, you crazy mixed-up kid, I said to myself before I maneuvered myself out onto the highway, now you've been at a luau... and now you know what an orgy looks like."

HOLY SMOKES, MOONDOGGIE!!! I can't wait to see what happens in the rest of the story!

On that same note, who's up for some not-so-thinly veiled sexual shenanigans with THE MONKEES?

I also grabbed a YACHTLOAD of old Harlequin Romance books-- but that's another post for another time, my friends...

Monday, June 14, 2010

Tough On Hippies

Hey, remember that time our cat ran for mayor?


I finally tracked down a decent-looking copy of HUMAN HIGHWAY-- can't wait to watch it again! I haven't seen it since high school, when a particularly deranged friend of mine screened his dad's bootleg VHS tape for me.

The top review on Amazon pretty much sums it up: "I like acid, devo, and rock n'roll. I like this movie. That is all."

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Slopping: A Consideration

Backhanded compliments from strangers have always ranked high on my list of hidden pleasures in life. Don't ask me why, because I honestly couldn't explain... I reckon I'm just a sucker for flattery, even in unintentional form.

Example: Whilst perusing the pulp spinner at a local used book store yesterday, I was approached by a dumpling-shaped cad in yellow denim. "You got a good look goin' on there, buddy," he snorted at me. "Sorta like some kinda BLUES CLUB thing, if ya know what I mean." There was something vaguely threatening about the way he paired those words... a hint of accusation, some formless offense taken at my peculiar pairing of shirt and pants... But any implications of violence whizzed right over my head, as I was already busily recording this moment for future reference. This was hardly my FAVORITE compliment of the year (that dubious honor goes to the frat boy who barked into my face over the Jackpot tapwell: "What, is it fuckin' BEATNIK NIGHT down here or something?"), but it was cause enough to celebrate.

So I snatched up my daughter and fled to the nearest pizza buffet to drown my good cheer in marinara and shame. Curvacia and I long ago nicknamed this place THE PIZZA TROUGH (imagine the tagline: COME SLOP YOURSELF... AT THE TROUGH!!!), and for good reason: the place is literally SQUIRMING with mewling piglets, stuffing their gaping maws with fistfuls of greasy carbohydrates. Just the thing I needed to boost my ego after having my good looks sullied.

What sets PIZZA TROUGH apart from its competitors is its willingness to experiment with the form-- at THE TROUGH, pizza is no mere vehicle for cheese to enter your bloodstream. It is a mode of self expression, bound only by the whimsy of its creator's hands. Case in point: MACARONI AND CHEESE PIZZA. Mounted on a pedestal, bathed in a celestial, warming glow. Whether I was conscious of it or not, I had always dreamed of a moment like this. My daughter and I were frozen to the spot in awe... The on-duty manager, as if anticipating this reaction (indeed, having possibly lived through this VERY SITUATION no less than a hundred times that same afternoon) dutifully shoveled a slice onto each of our plates, then sent us away with a knowing wink.

Long ago I devised a plan: open a restaurant catering to discriminate white-trash tastes, a midwestern FUSION CUISINE if you will. I have a list somewhere of all the menu items, which ranged from heartburning (ONION RING NACHOS) to ingenious (BISCUITS & GRAVY SWIRL BREAD) to the downright befuddling (BURGER-RITOS, the spiritual opposite of a TACO BURGER)... Never once did the concept of MACARONI AND CHEESE PIZZA enter into my mind. So it was with no small amount of professional envy (and hesitation, as well-- Hands or fork? Hands or fork? From-the-hip decision making has never been my strong suit) that I leaned forward and took that first, lingering bite.

EPILOGUE: Explosive diarrhea, my friends. Perhaps we were never meant to tamper with forces greater than ourselves.

Monday, June 7, 2010

The Not-So-Final Frontier

We hosted a bonus screening of IT STARTS WITH MURDER to raise money for a DVD release... The attendance was certainly more of a "quality over quantity" affair, which was fine with me. I'd much rather play to a small crowd of devoted friends than a packed room of ambivalent strangers. I'm just a NERVOUS NELLY like that!

(Special shout-outs are due to our pals LYDIA for her generous patronage and JOI for bringing the hype on Yelp! You guys are the bestest!)


In true Hollywood style, production has begun on our new movie before the script is even finished! Enjoy this bonus glimpse into THE GALACTIC JUNGLE...

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Kiss My Giblets

A great commercial that my pal Lydia turned me onto-- it's like Banquet Dinners was trying to appeal to the Kuchar brothers set: