From the Private Files of Mr. Manilow

As mentioned previously, we've been rearranging our humble abode in order to make our lives more manageable. This has involved sorting through mountains of accumulated clutter, discarding what we can (with no small amount of heartache), and finding more visible exhibit space for the rest. In the process, I've rediscovered some long-forgotten gems from the bowels of my collection... OBSERVE!

Photos of old drunks that I am convinced are actually myself and Curvacia after a bizarre time-travelling incident:





Hilarious postcards that I'm going to fill out and mail to myself from the beachfront hotel of some exotic tropical isle:





An awesome puzzle called "The Mods" that I picked up from a flea market and never had the heart to assemble:



And, of course, TRASHY BOOKS GALORE:




"AN EVENING READER," indeed!



"Laundering procedures in this book were developed in the Maytag product testing laboratory-- a complete, up-to-date LAUNDRY RESEARCH CENTER." Some people have the best jobs, I swear.



In my head, this title always reads as "Killer in DA House."






I also found a slew of amazing records backed up somewhere -- a PUTT PUTT concept album, anyone?-- which I promise to rip and post samples from as soon as this ordeal is through.

The Secret Histories

I'm working on a post about our trip to the GLORE PSYCHIATRIC MUSEUM a few years back, but it's taking me a while to get all of the pictures together. To tide you over until then, here are some scans of various crazy ramblings I've found posted around town.

(NOTE: I tried and tried to dig up my favorite flier, LAWRENCE MEMORIAL HOSPITAL HARVESTS ORGANS FROM REST HOME PATIENTS, but it seems to be lost. Maybe I was finally so disturbed by it that I threw it away. Or maybe it's just piled under a mountain of my obsessively-collected crap. Either way, until that flier surfaces, this post has a definite TO BE CONTINUED attached to the end...)

I found this gem folded into the pages of our local weekly, THE PITCH, one foggy autumn morn. I actually kind of relate to the author's point of view-- I hate the typical "Music Showcase" format, and the idea of Masonic Conspiracies has always held a certain appeal. This person took those threads and knotted them together quite nicely, I think:

(click to enlarge)




This next one was the first in a series of home-made newsletters that appeared at the Replay on a weekly basis for several months last summer. The phantom author was never identified, but I kept several of these missives as research material in my ongoing quest for a Higher Truth.

(I particularly enjoy the stamp in the upper right hand corner-- they actually took this to City Hall and paid to have some clerk authorize it before distributing it around town! Some people have all the luck...)




And this final piece is but a small section of a much larger handbill. The opening paragraph here sums up the entire rest of the page, so I cut it short-- the real delight isn't the stream-of-consciousness rant about HOMELESSNESS VERSUS THE SYSTEM (another point of view which I totally agree with)-- it's the handwritten addition the author made near the top of the page: WHAT WAS PAST AROUND YOUR BAR? HIS NAME WAS DOUG. Considering the bar in question was the Replay Lounge, I hope you went to the clinic and got yourself checked out the next day, Doug.



TO BE CONTINUED...