Amateur Hour

STANDARD SUNDAY NIGHT CONVERSATION AT WORK:

"Do you have any specials tonight?"

"Yeah, it's two dollar wells."

"Really? Okay. I'll take one of those, please."

"Okay, so what do you want?"

"A well. One well."

"Um... What KIND of well? We've got vodka, bourbon, gin, etc."

"Oh, I didn't know what you mean. Do you have a well beer?"

"Our cheapest beer is Hamm's. You want a Hamm's?"

"Uh, what in the world is a HAM?"

"Hamm's? It's just a cheap beer in a can."

"In a CAN? Oh my gawd. That-sounds-REVOLTING! Can you make me a Limeade Martini?"

"A limeade martini?"

"Yeah, you know... a LIMEADE MARTINI."

"I have a lime. I have martini fixings. You mean, like a gimlet?"

"Oh, never mind. Just give me the fucking HAM."

"One Hamm's coming up..."

"Oh my gawd. What the hell is this we're watching? It looks horrible."

"This movie? It's called C.H.U.D. I brought it from home."

"C.H.U.D? What in the world is a C.H.U.D?"

"A Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller."

"Do you LIKE this kind of movie or are you just trying to be funny?"

"A little of both... That'll be one-seventy-five for the beer."

"Okay, hang on-- do you have change for two dollars?"

END TRANSMISSION.